Mark Davis' Christmas present for Allen and McKenzie

Mark Davis' Christmas present for Allen and McKenzie
June 2, 2013, 9:00 pm
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With Mark Davis (right) in charge, Dennis Allen (left) and Reggie McKenzie (center) might want to rent, rather than buy. (AP)

Zak Gilbert’s firing as Oakland Raiders’ media relations director a month after a Sports Illustrated piece that apparently irked owner Mark Davis seems to surprise a lot of people, as there was the illusion that the new Raiders under the son would run much differently than the old Raiders did under Dad. This logic makes no sense, as the Raiders are used to running a lot further behind the curve than that. Frankly, under normal Raider recognition patterns, Gilbert wouldn’t have gotten it until Christmas.

And this Christmas is probably about the time Reggie McKenzie and Dennis Allen are going to get it. Maybe three separate press releases at once will break the budget.

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Now that Tim Lincecum has opened the door to being a reliever, courtesy Comrade Baggarly (http://tinyurl.com/lvvsey2), we can now count the number of days that he will still be a starter anywhere. The fact that he would consider it means that more teams will be interested in chasing him, thus increasing his market value, and the salary haircut he will have to take may not be so bad after all.

That is, if his willingness to consider it doesn’t become so overwhelming that he resents from the frontlash and digs his heels in to say a starter.

In the meantime, he will still start until Buntin’ Ryan Vogelsong’s finger improves, so this could turn into a real pig-rope by August. At least we live in hope.

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The Pacific 12 Conference’s investigation into the Ed Rush-Arizona-referees problem is done, and the findings are as expected. Nobody did anything wrong, and punishments for all the non-wrongdoers were both fair and wise.

Sincerely, the Rutgers Rolling Hiring Committee.

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In case you’re scoring at home, and why the hell would you, Roy Hibbert saying “no homo” and calling writers “m-f-ers” is worth exactly 15 flops. This will interest LeBron James going to tonight’s seventh game, and you will know that when he takes the floor wearing a snorkeling mask.

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Pete Rose allegedly makes more than $1 million per year signing autographs, according to the Wall Street Journal, which, since we don’t know if this is a sympathy or angry-at-the-man market, makes one wonder whether he could actually afford getting into the Hall of Fame. After all, what’s got that all the other Hall of Famers don’t have, other than the fact that he isn’t one?

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Tiger Woods prepared for the U.S. Open by finishing 20 strokes behind Matt Kuchar at The Memorial and then demoting himself. He acknowledged the bad weekend by saying, “Yeah, it happens. It happens to all of us. I'll go home next week and practice.”

Thus, a question: So when exactly did Tiger Woods become one of “all of us?”

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And finally, Michael Malone’s introductory presser as the head coach of the Sacramento Kings will begin with this deathless phrase, one which will become the team’s new slogan:

“Dibs On The Big Office and The Parking Space By The Door.” Shortened for T-shirt purposes to “Dibs.”


Ray Ratto is a columnist for CSNBayArea.com