Ranking Alex Smith amongst his peers

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Ranking Alex Smith amongst his peers

The matter of WGIBTU Whos Got It Better Than Us? has taken on an interesting form, when you consider the case of Alexander D. Smith, the Lazarus of quarterbacks.Given up for dead by the wishful thinking crowd, Smiths resurgence as a credible NFL quarterback has been much hailed, though mostly in that What did Jim Harbaugh do to clear up his leprous sores and make him a fully self-actualized human being? kind of way.But there is another factor here, brought home with stark force by the San Diego-Kansas City game Monday night, and that is this:The field has backed up to Smith just as much as he has risen to meet it.Many of these situations are temporary good quarterbacks having bad years, or injuries, or the curse of the howling short-arm, but lets break it down to show you what we mean:ARIZONA
Kevin Kolb has done little to revive the Cardinals, and since he was one of those quarterbacks people demanded be brought in to rid the fan base of the turbulent Smith, his struggles are particularly gratifying. According to the Alex Metric, he is dramatically worse. He may be better in the future, but the futures not ours to know, so for the moment, yes. WGIBTU? Not the Cardinals.ATLANTA
After a scruffy start, Matt Ryan is finding his stride again, but eight picks and 18 sacks have undermined his supremacy. WGIBTU? Ryan will have some better games down the stretch, while Smith is exactly as good as he can be now, so with a wince, the Falcons do.BALTIMORE
They hate Joe Flacco these days in Charm City, absolutely loathe him. And for good reason his completion percentage is under 54, his inefficiencies have gone from oh-well to oh, hell, and the comparisons to Trent Dilfer are flattering to neither man. WGIBTU? Not the Ravens.BUFFALO
Ryan Fitzpatrick just got a 59 million contract extension from Ralph Wilson. I dont know how much better that can be explained. WGIBTU? The Bills, for sure.CAROLINA
The Panthers have so little that Cam Newton stands out all the more, but the truth is on a more representative team, he would be an MVP candidate. WGIBTU? The Panthers, for sure.CHICAGO
Jay Cutler lives as well off Matt Forte as Smith does off Frank Gore, but his own stats are largely Smiths superior. That said, he hasnt made the Bears an indomitable team because theyre not so WGIBTU? Not the Bears.CINCINNATI
Andy Daltons red hair made Carson palmers expendable well, that and the draft choices from Oakland but he relies of safety-first passes as much as Smith does, and the Bengals are still not fully believable. WGIBTU? Not the Bengals.CLEVELAND
The Browns have been to the Bay Area twice in three weeks. Weve all seen Colt McCoy working with no discernible players. WGIBTU? Not the Browns, and not by a long shot.DALLAS
Tony Romo is embracing his new role as NFL tease, and all of his numbers save the interceptions are better than Smiths. But he is also considered the guy the Cowboys have until they get someone good, so this is a tough one. WGIBTU? The Cowboys, though too often that seems not to be true.DENVER
Do we really need to bother here? Quite possibly the worst situation in the league, not only because Tim Tebow is still too raw and inefficient, but because his rally over Miami probably took the Broncos out of the Andy Luck sweepstakes. WGUIBTU? Definitely not these guys.DETROIT
Matthew Stafford when upright is a damned sight better than most. Matthews Stafford on one leg and without a running game to protect him, not so much. Until he gets better, WGIBTU does not include the Lions, but that will change the moment his leg gets better.
GREEN BAY
Please.HOUSTON
Matt Schaub is simply better, and you cant argue it even with Houstons odd collection of results. WGIBTU? Definitely the Texans.INDIANAPOLIS
Peyton Manning begat Curtis Painter who may beget Andrew Luck. Until that moment, though, WGIBTU? Not the Colts.JACKSONVILLE
Blaine Gabbert is injured, but even at 100 percent, the Jaguars so much come out on the short end of WGIBTU it isnt worth serious analysis.KANSAS CITY
Matt Cassel looked pretty brutal last night, and his team won. In fact, his team has won four in a row to move into a tie for first in the AFC West. All that said, Matt Cassel. WGIBTU? Not the Chiefs.MIAMI
Horrifying. WGIBTU doesnt have the words to show how much not the Dolphins it is.MINNESOTA
Donovan McNabb is now Christian Ponder. Another win for WGIBTU.NEW ENGLAND
Sorry, no.NEW ORLEANS
No again.NEW YORK GIANTS
Eli Manning is having an exemplary year in an up-and-down career. This could change, but the Giants win WGIBTU pretty handily here.NEW YORK JETS
Mark Sanchez is more maddening than soothing, which makes him A.D. Smith 1.0. WGIBTU? Not the Jets.OAKLAND
Not even discussable at this point. WGIBTU? Not the Raiders.PHILADELPHIA
Michael Vick is catching hell, but not nearly as much hell as Andy Reid, which means that the fans are okay with him, and his numbers are indisputably better. WGIBTU? The Eagles, eventually.PITTSBURGH
After a feh start, Ben Roethlisberger is quietly but demonstrably having a big year. WGIBTU? The Steelers, and Mike Tomlin could absolutely pull Jim Harbaughs arm off in a handshake.SAINT LOUIS
A.J. Feeley has taken Sam Bradfords job while Bradfords ankle cant do its job, on a team with only Steven Jackson. Need we say more? WGIBTU? Not the Rams.SAN DIEGO
Whatever magic Philip Rivers had, he aint got no more. A snap? He fumbled a snap with the game in the bag? Right now, WGIBTU has it for the 49ers, though Id make a straight-up- trade right now and feel very good about it.SEATTLE
Tarvaris Jackson or Charlie Whitehurst. Move on, citizens. Nothing to see here.TAMPA BAY
Its hard to put the 48-3 loss out of our heads, and Josh Freeman has thrown more picks than scores. That is not a statistic the local fella need concern himself with right now. WGIBTU? Not the Bucs.TENNESSEE
Matt Hasselbecks numbers are comparable, but the Titans win when they defend, not when they attack. WGIBTU? Not the Titans.WASHINGTON
Rex Grossman? John Beck? I think I just threw up on my shoe. WGIBTU? Definitely not the Redskins.In short, Alex Smith, whom you all knew was the worst quarterback ever, is having a better time right now than 20 other starters, easily his best placement against his peers since he began his career. So whos got it better than them? A lot fewer than there used to be.

Internet immediately goes to DefCon1 on Chip Kelly-to-Cal

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USATSI

Internet immediately goes to DefCon1 on Chip Kelly-to-Cal

In what can be considered your standard bolt out of the blue, California head football coach Sonny Dykes has reportedly been fired.

In what can be considered your standard spur-of-the-Internet-moment-connect-the-dots inspiration, the Internet went immediately to DefCon1 on Chip Kelly-to-Cal rumors.

The logic, of course, is impeccable. Dykes never really snapped the Cal program around, taking a bad program and making it, well, mediocre, and he has spent much of the past two years aggressively seeking out other jobs, so one can assume there was at least some trouble in paradise, even if you want to make the case that Cal football and paradise are somehow connected.

And Kelly just got canned by the 49ers as part of Jed York’s latest I-will-not-be-made-to-look-ridiculous twitch, so he could sign a properly modest contract at Berkeley and still get his full $6 million with the offset from the three years left on his Jed deal.

So it makes perfect sense . . . which is why it should be judged with considerable skepticism.

For one, Kelly can almost surely do better in the college job diaspora. Cal is a big name with modest ambitions due in part to constant budget constraints, and there are better jobs out there even if he sits for a year.

For two, Cal and Kelly are an odd fit, given the persistent tensions between academia and athletica at Berkeley.

For three, the job comes with massive roadblocks, including Stanford, USC, Washington and (potentially) a resuscitation of the Oregon he left behind. Success will not come easy, if it does at all.

For four, Cal just finished four years of gimmick offense and overburdened defense, and Kelly would provide a more successful version of the same.

And for five, this is too easy, too simple, too convenient. Something about this scenario must be wrong somewhere. When people hit the Internet with photoshopped Kelly-in-Cal-costumes within minutes of the Dykes announcement, you know this is too obvious to actually come to fruition.

Why? Because we don’t live that well, that’s why.

The beauty of a triumphant Kelly at Cal glowering down at the charred ruin in Santa Clara seems more appealing than it actually is, because try as they might, Cal fans will never be backing the more popular horse here, and Kelly won’t win that battle unless he takes Cal to the Rose Bowl while the 49ers are still grappling over draft positions.

In that way, reality sucks. The idea that Jed York could be mocked in collegial absentia by his two biggest coaching hires is delicious but almost surely illusory.

But until we get more on why Dykes got canned 43 days after the team’s last game – recruiting, academic issues, legal issues, photocopier problems from him sending his resume out so often – all we have is the Chip Kelly rumor-ette to keep us intrigued.

Okay, to keep us amused.

Okay, to keep us from falling over in a coma. Cal should matter more than it does, but it’s been 13 years since the Holiday Bowl zenith of the Jeff Tedford Era, and 25 since Bruce Snyder took the Ursines to the Citrus Bowl. The evidence since 1990 is of a team with bigger dreams than means that is slightly below .500 (160-164). Sonny Dykes leaving means one more coach who didn’t make an impact unless his departure leads to either reassessment of the program’s standards, internal or external sanctions . . .

. . . or what the hell, Chip Kelly. Let’s face it – in these dismal days for wacked-out rumormongering, this is pretty intoxicating stuff.

Warriors are most geographically vague team in history of American sports

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Geology.com

Warriors are most geographically vague team in history of American sports

The Philadelphia/San Francisco/Golden State Warriors have always had a casual attitude about their home court, even by the once-flexible standards of the National Basketball Association.

Thus, it should be only slightly amusing but not actually surprising that Warriors chief arenologist Rick Welts is now waffling a bit (courtesy Comrade Poole) on whether the team will change its name to San Francisco Warriors when it moves across the pond in 2019-20, or retain its current geographic association with Narnia.

I mean Golden State. I often confuse utterly fictional locales – when I can be bothered to give a toss either way.

But the Warriors, whether they play in Oakland, San Francisco, Pier 30, Pier 32, Westeros, Hobbiton, the Duchy of Grand Fenwick, Curryvania, the Klingon Empire, the Death Star or Planet Nine, are relocating, and once they break the seal on the earth in 12 days, Welts and his fellow elves will almost surely play the team’s future name as a mildly tedious cliffhanger.

Hey, fun is where you find it.

The matter of the team’s relocation will be a sore subject among lifelong East Bay residents, who have put up with the Warriors for 45 years in various stages of development, including the current “We Almost Never Lose” stage. They regard the Warriors’ transplantation to San Francisco to be an unspeakable crime given the high level of fan allegiance afforded them in Oakland.

And yes, they regard Oakland and San Francisco as very real places, as opposed to Golden State, Freedonia, Vulgaria or the Nexus of All Realities.

It is not yet fully known what San Franciscans think of this development, but that’s the nature of the gamble here. They may embrace the Warriors as the new toy in town and then lose interest, and frankly, neither Welts nor anyone else knows the answer to that.

Either way, their die is cast, and Joe Lacob and Peter Guber are now future former Oakland fixtures. Yes, they are quite fond of the exciting new real estate values and their exciting new unobstructed view of the bay, but it has long been assumed that the move would also entail changing the name back to “San Francisco” for the snob appeal.

Now Welts, who has overseen both arena projects (including the one at Piers 30 and 32 which ended up with the piers beating the Warriors in a rout), tells Comrade Poole that the San Francisco Warriors might not end up as the San Francisco Warriors after all.

“Four years ago, I think the conventional wisdom in our building here in Oakland was that yes, we should attach a city name to the team, then it becomes a more global franchise,” Welts marketing-gobbledy-gooked. “There was a lot of head-scratching four years ago about where the Golden State Warriors even played, in other parts of the world. What’s happened with the team over the course of the ensuing years, until today, has made the Warriors if not the preeminent, at least among the three best-known NBA franchises around the world. And everybody who didn’t know where the Golden State Warriors were four years ago, if you’re a fan today, anywhere in the world, you know where the Golden State Warriors are.”

In Oakland.

Now, the mic drop.

“The team’s success has caused us to really rethink whether or not that’s something we should or want to do,” he added. “I guess it’s fair to say there’s been no final decision made. But if you were a betting man, I think you would probably want to wager that the name might remain the same.”

Of course. Why not stay fictional when specificity might move fewer hoodies?

Then again, this is a team that in its 70 years has played home games in Philadelphia (the Arena, the Civic Center, Lincoln High School and Convention Hall), Hershey and Bethlehem PA, Atlantic City, Trenton, Collingswood and Camden NJ, and Saratoga Springs NY . . .

(a moment’s rest here to catch our breaths)

. . . and then after moving west in 1962, the Cow Palace, San Francisco Civic Auditorium and USF’s Memorial Gym, the Oakland Auditorium, San Jose Civic Auditorium, San Jose Arena, Richmond Auditorium, then Sacramento, Bakersfield, Fresno, San Diego, Eugene, Seattle, Phoenix and Salt Lake City.

In fact, and you can swindle the gullible at your neighborhood tavern with this one, the Warriors’ first game in San Francisco occurred almost three years before the team left Philadelphia. The Warriors played the visitors to the Minneapolis Lakers, who moved to Los Angeles a year later and had already played a regular season game at the Cow Palace earlier in the year, so this game, January 31, 1960, could have been considered a civic scouting trip for both teams as they sought new homes.

In other words, the Warriors are almost surely the most geographically vague team in the history of North American sports. Moreover, they are about to become the first team in sports history to go home for the third time under three different city names – Philadelphia, San Francisco and Krypton, or whatever the hell they want to call themselves this time.